Ready for Take Off

This week was productive. I've been having a lot moments where I feel like things are falling into place. It's quite welcoming- especially since I feel like I was kinda in the dark for a while there.

I once read this book that described 3 forms of deja vu. For those of you that don't believe in angels or any type of "new age" ideas (for lack of a better word), maybe skip down a few paragraphs.

Ok, so deja vu is when you feel like you have experienced something before, but you haven't. The first form is "people", as in you think you have met someone before, but you haven't. It can be good or bad. Good, like you were "meant" to meet that person- or bad, like your intuition is telling you to watch your back. The next is "places", as in you feel that you have been to a place before, but again, you haven't. Just like the "people" category, it can mean you were meant to be there, or to watch out and be careful. The last form is just a general feeling like things are going the way they are supposed to...it's hard to describe unless you have experienced it. When I tell people about it, I usually say it's like having a warm calm feeling come over you and the phrase "this is the way it's supposed to be" comes to mind.

It's a good thing when you have deja vu, it means that you are headed in the right direction. It's kinda like a clue or a sign post that gives you directions when you are lost. Sounds kinda crazy, maybe it is. All I know is that this past week has been full of "it's all good" moments. So if I haven't lost you by now, continue on...

My first "warm fuzzy" this week was from a friend of mine, Willie Carrillo. He works for a Native program and is such a wonderful asset to the communities that he serves. He contacted me to see if I could put on some Healthy Relationship Building workshops for his youth. It's been back and forth with faxes, phone calls and emails- but it looks good. After reading a fax from his office today, I took a moment to reflect. All I could think about was this cheesy line that I say to my brother when it feels like big things are coming...I say "the planets are aligning" (Was that an overshare? I guess I am kinda crazy). I don't know where I picked up that line..Star Trek, The Dark Crystal, some dated sci-fi movie? It's my way of saying that I need to get ready, something is coming.

My second "warm fuzzy" was actually more of a panic that turned into a moment of relief. On Tuesday night I got a call from my friend Jeremiah Bitsui, a Native filmmaker going through the IFP Project: Involve program. IFP is a well known organization that has offices in New York, Chicago, Miami, Seattle, St. Paul and of course, LA. They have this program called Project: Involve that pairs you up with a mentor in Directing, Producing, Acting, Casting, etc., depending on the field that you want to study. I had always thought that I was too old to apply, that it was for kids that were in high school or going to college, so I never applied. Jeremiah called me to tell me he asked if I was too old (32), and his counselor encouraged me to apply. There was a catch- the application was due in 48 hours! Dang! I ran home and started writing my personal statement.

The next day I called my friend Ray Spiess for a letter of recommendation. In less than 7 hours I had my letter signed. As we looked over his letter, I realized how lucky I was to have him as a recommendation. Ray is a member of IFP, Academy of Television Arts and Sciences (the Emmys), Motion Picture Sound Editors and a Sundance Film Festival Alumni..whoa! Not to mention he is now the Supervising Sound Editor of the WB show One Tree Hill and the owner of Soaring Eagle Films.

Let me just take a time out to thank Ray for being a mentor, an awesome friend, a great pep talk giver (is there such a word?) and someone who lets me cry to them when things get crazy. I'm smiling remembering all the fun times we had working in the summer of 2002 on our PSAs and music video. He is truly a role model not just for Native people, but for anyone that wants to get in to the entertainment industry- you've been told!

So fast forward to today as I'm racing over to Beverly Hills to drop of my application. When I walked out of the BMG building, I thought, no worries, accepted or not, at least I did it. If I never applied, it would probably bug me for the rest of my life. I called Jeremiah to thank him and let him know I applied. He gave me the heads up on what to expect next, etc. Sitting on the jam packed freeway, the feeling hit...it's all going to be ok, this is the way it's supposed to be.

My last "warm fuzzy" was only moments later. I called Yoland Garcia, coordinator for the American Indian Children's Council, here in LA. She recommended one of the student business' to cater an event, and it was approved! Woo-hoo! I was so happy for my students Adrian Phoenix and John Mia. They went through the "Start Your Own Business" class and came up with "The Red Chili Shack" catering and one day, cafe. I'm always promoting people, in anyway that I can. I mentioned to Yolanda that I had these kids that could do catering if there was an event, please let me know. I was so happy to call the families and tell the to get ready. The event doesn't happen until May, 2004, so they got plenty of time to prepare. I hung up the phone and suddenly the traffic didn't seem so bad.

What can I say? The planets are aligning. What will happen when they all line up? Heck if I know...but I feel like it will be really good. I pray for my students, my family, my friends and the community. Do I dare think that the day is coming when we as Native people will break the cycles of dysfunction...? It's coming, maybe not in my lifetime, but it will be here before we know it. We're on the tv, in government, on the radio, playing sports and even up in space, we are everywhere!

This past summer I told my friend Jason that I was "on a mission from our ancestors". Yeah, I am. My mission: to bring hope, to love and to help as many Native people as possible. What about the haters, the crabs? Well, they need love, too- but they might not be ready for it yet. Concentrate on helping those that want help, for they will be the ones to help the others when they are ready. Man, where are these words coming from? I'm having my own "Conversations with God" over here in my room. Is that possible? Yeah it is! We all can do that. In fact, that's part of my mission, encourage people to have conversations with the Creator. Talk, He'll talk back and help you. My shoulders are tensing up as I write. I can feel the haters- they're thinking, saying and doing what they can to shut me up- put me back "in my place". Oh well, I can't worry about that- I'm on a mission.

Until my mission is completed-
Pray and give thanks :-)

Peace,
Jennyjenjen
ndnjenjen@yahoo.com